Through their eyes

Imagine a world wherein your character traits; the good and bad are personified.  These traits are separate individuals who you tend to attract and are willing to spend time with so as to decide whether they are something you want to keep in your life. You are left with the characteristic of judgment and decision. It's quite a mighty task to perform. It's what formulates strategies to deal with the bad ones and strength to not be overdosed with the good ones. It's what helps filter out daily interactions and limit any issues should they arise.

The point of personifying them is to make it relatable to the kind of people we interact with and the ones we are close to in life. When they are separate individuals, it's easy to categorize and assign some sort of value. You have an inner circle that can be a healthy mix of whatever qualifies as good and bad for you, your mental and physical health. You take from it what you want and what suits a situation. The harsh reality is we see the worst in ourselves when many things go wrong and begin to lose a sense of self. At such a time, when everything seems to be crashing and burning, everything you stand for seems to be in a conundrum, and everything you know about yourself seems to take a hit I have found that looking at myself through the eyes of someone I love or cherish gives me a new perspective and a pause from the spiral.

 It might sound like a tedious way of assigning value to yourself. I am not even suggesting it to be a way to increase self-worth or gain momentary happiness. It is but a gentle reminder for when a bundle of painful thoughts occurs because through their eyes, I know I am alive and seen. Through their eyes, I am something above my flaws and insecurities because they want to see the innocence or the best in me. Through their eyes, I am someone that comes to pick them up when they need me. Through their eyes, I am someone who will show up because I can. Through their eyes, I'm a provider for their materialistic cravings perhaps and that's fine because through their eyes I derive a lot of strength to keep at it, to move on to see challenges and face them head on. Through their eyes, I am mean when angry, cold when sad but maybe my heart's in the right place. Through their eyes, I am a rebel without a cause, but they don't know my pain. Through their eyes I am accountable for every motion I make and every breath I take. Through their eyes, I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, and all the names and tags I've earned along the way only to realize I am a human being and have always been.